a fresh start

So a week ago, my beloved MacBook Pro of just over two years got sick. In other words the hard drive / hard drive bracket and cable was damaged and needed to be replaced. This caused me to take make a total of five Genius Bar appointments at Apple Store Fairview and see a total of six Apple Geniuses over the course of four days (October 13, 15, 16, 17).

Long story short, my MacBook Pro is now healthy and running again. However, I lost all my files since I didn't do any backups because I didn't have any external hard drives back then.

But now I've learned my lesson, will take advantage of time machine, use it and be good to go. Plus, put all my pictures and shit on online sharing programs such as Dropbox and Google Drive so that I won't lose anymore stuff.

And I suppose another good thing about all this is that I got a larger hard drive! Went from 250gb to 500gb!

speak Lord, for your servant is listening...

8 And the LORD called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli and said, "Here I am, for you called me." Then Eli perceived that the LORD was calling the young man. 9 Therefore Eli said to Samuel, "Go, lie down, and if he calls you, you shall say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant hears.'" So Samuel went and lay down in his place. -- 1 Samuel 3:8-9 ESV

So ever since my first year of college came to an end, I began doing a lot of thinking about my life. Since late February/early March, I started questioning if this was the right path for me. And more importantly, if this was what God had planned for me life. So I started asking myself questions, searching the depths of my mind for answers and seeking God for help.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized my passion wasn't in massage therapy. But rather in just plain outright helping others.

The only question that remains is what was to become of my college life now? I don't think I can continue in something I'm not passionate about? That, and school was never something I was good at in my fourteen years that I endured... Yet, my parents had spent so much money on me so far, so what am I to do?

Therefore, Lord I earnestly ask you to speak to me, speak to my parents, please tell me what you wish for me to do and I shall do it. Whatever you desire, I shall do it. I shall be but the clay in your hands, waiting to be molded as you desire. Speak Lord, for your servant is listening...

and so a new chapter has begun...

so yay for finally being in barrie, and i gotta say i just love it! the people here are great, cool, and awesome!

i can't wait for the year to go on as i continue to meet new and awesome people and really get to know 'em all! and i'm also interested in getting involved with res life, especially the rsc position of director of activities, since i feel like it's something i could be good at, plus it's also another chance for me to get to know more people. overall, i'm so psyched about the next eight months of my life!

also, can't wait till more sac planned activities are made known! they all sound so exciting and fun to partake in! shinerama was so awesome! and i'm so thankful to God that so many people were willing to donate spare money on hand to help further research on cystic fibrosis so that more can be known about this disease and hopefully one day a cure can be found!

lost and confused.

lately i haven't really been doing much, and now that i think about it, it's starting to bug me. i want to do something, like get a job or go read or anything meaningful to get out of this slump of nothingness i'm in. like seriously, i doubt God meant for me to do nothing this summer. but what's there for me to do? i'm just simply... lost.

also, i know i've chosen to go into massage therapy and i don't have any doubts about doing so either, but i do worry. worry that i'm not ready for this step of my life yet. worry that i won't be ready to take the step to begin my college life. worry that things won't turn out well for me. and all this worrying has me confused as to whether or not i made the right decision to get into college, i know part of me does want to for the freedom and adventure college would bring, but am i mentally ready for it? i'm... confused.

what am i going to do with myself? i've only a month before i head off to the next step of my future...